The School of Hot Addiction
by sambeam
Summary: Edward's the teacher, Bella's the student... smut in every chapter? Well yes! It's very prudent! AH/ OOC. ExB.
1. Masturbation Schedule

**Bella POV**

_School_- (_noun)_ a regular course of meetings of a teacher or teachers and students for instruction.

Several things wrong with this definition.

Firstly- There's nothing regular about it. The entire population of students in this school skips more classes then they go to. No regularity.

Secondly- The teachers don't care about us. This is probably the only school in all of Washington that actually employs Professors to teach essential level courses. The professors don't care that the kid at the back of their remedial level math class is high. Therefore, no 'regular meetings for instruction'. The kids sleep, and the professors write their fucking essays or whatever the hell they have to write.

Thirdly- I could go on forever.

But this isn't really about _school _per se, and when I say that I mean I'm not going to sit here and harp on about how much school sucks, and how high school is hell, that comes with a locker. Even though, it's all theses things. Not for me, but I'm sure other people have hard times.

This is about a guy. A shitload of masturbation. And then _finally _a little Bella lovin' of the Mr. Cullen variety.

I'm Bella. Edward is Mr. Cullen.

Bella's a student. Edward's a teacher.

I'm going to start from the beginning.

I am madly in love and want to fuck my English teacher, the delicious 28 year old Edward Anthony Cullen.

I want to suck his dick. I want him to fuck my tits. I want him to shove his cock up my aching and willing pussy. Hell, I'd even try anal, because I have a feeling that he would make it feel good.

I want him to tongue fuck me. I want him to finger me. I want to fuck him in his car. I want to fuck him in the water (UTI? Who cares.). I want to make a porno with him, and watch it religiously every day, just like I used to do with _Reality Bites_.

The man is a _God_. The messy 'just got fucked' hair, the green eyes, the stubble every so often, the soft curve of muscle underneath his shirts, the long legs, the tell tale slight tightening in the crotch area of his pants.

I get wet thinking about his pants.

Mr. Cullen is unattainable, he's a teacher, and I'm a student. He's 28, and I'm 18. Not to mention that it's kind of illegal and has extenuating circumstances.

But that does not mean that I can't harshly rub my clit in bed when I think about him.

In fact, I think it's probably encouraged. If masturbation and free thinking were banned in Forks Academy, then I'm sure a 'Never Ending Changes of Underwear and Blue Balls 101' class would have to be invented immediately.

If I wasn't allowed to touch my self several times daily to the simple vision of Mr. Cullen's hard, erect, fucking _huge _cock, than I would surely die. It was getting to the point where I had forbidden myself to thinking anything that involved me and him in any sort of sexual position. It proved to be too much, and the last time I pictured his messy head of bronze hair in between my legs I kind of passed out and didn't wake up for an entire day. I figured I should take it easy after that.

I am not sex crazed. I think. I mean, I go out and get drunk and get high, and I have amazing friends. I don't just sit around all day and find new positions on my bed to pleasure myself to the thoughts Mr. Cullen's shapely buttocks. I just do that _after_.

As I said, Forks Academy is a very prestigious school so they have us live in the dorms so that we don't get 'influenced by any outside parties'. I actually enjoy this, because I get my own room, and my own bathroom.

So, I kind of have this masturbation schedule.

Monday- Think about his hair. Missionary position.

Tuesday- Think about him smoking a cigarette. Use vibrator.

Wednesday- Think about him unbuttoning his shirt. Laying on stomach, use pillow.

Thursday- Think about his cock. Doggie position, with stimulation of all available 'holes'.

Friday- Think about his cock. Quickie, anything goes.

Saturday- His cock. Take a bath, use body sponge webby thingy (feels amazingly good when rubbed in circles).

Sunday- His cock. Use removable shower head, put it on pulse.

Period Week- His hard, thick, oozing cock. Use removable shower head, a different setting for each day.

This is why I like having my own dorm room. A bath and a removable shower head. And unlimited privacy, no parents barging in and knocking on your door when your at the pivotal point.

Well, Alice has barged in and seen my girly parts more than once. Speaking of Alice, I should probably talk about my friends, because I do have them. I'm not some repressed, sexually frustrated teenager that would give her left labia to even touch her English teacher.

Anyway…

Okay, so there's Alice. A small sprite, 4 foot 5. Spiky brown hair, a self proclaimed fashion queen. Jasper, Alice's boyfriend. 6 foot 2, a southern gentleman with that 'straight from cattle riding' wavy blond hair. Rosalie, a stunning blond supermodel, Jasper's twin sister. Emmett, Rosalie's boyfriend. Some one who I could only describe as a body builder who just might be as horny as I am.

See, I couldn't make those guys up.

I do have some admirers too. Ugly and stupid ones albeit, but they are sometimes useful when I am feeling lonely.

Mike Newton. Lovingly nicknamed 'Fuckhead'. He isn't aware of this nickname.

Tyler Crowley. Lovingly nicknamed 'Unable to Find Clitoris'. He isn't aware of this nickname.

Eric Yorkie. Lovingly nicknamed 'Is It In Yet', by almost the entire female population, not just me. He is aware of this nickname.

I don't even feel bad that I use these three unfortunate boys for my own sexual needs. I don't even feel guilty that I'm cheating on Mr. Cullen in a way, because he has that _bitch _Tanya Denali.

She is the epitome of fakeness. Bleach blond hair that was badly covered up with cheap red hair dye. Boring, bland blue eyes that had so much mascara around them that they looked small and piggy. But she had a hot body, even I'll admit it. I guess that was her appeal to my delicious Mr. Cullen. She was an English teacher too, so they got to spend a lot of time together, going over syllabuses or whatever the fuck teachers did together.

I fucking hated her. I made the point of making that stupid 'Boom bad-a, boom bad-a, boom' whenever she walked by. I watched too many '80s movies to be considered healthy. I'm pretty sure she hated me too, because she would always give me these dirty looks, which I would have considered normal from a teenage girl, not from a slut teacher.

But, this isn't about her, and this isn't about my friends, and this isn't about school, and this isn't about 80's movies. As I said before, this is about me wanting Mr. Cullen to do terrible, nasty, illegal things to me. And vise versa.

I'll never forget the first things he said to me when we met.

"Ms. Swan, would you fucking pay attention?" I should also mention that he has a huge potty mouth, and is more suited to be a teenager than a professor. Aaaand, I should also mention that I was in class right than and by an amazing coincidence he said the exact same words to me right then that he said when we first met.

"Right-o, Mr. Cullen." I enjoyed being coy with the man. He smirked at me and then continued reading his poem of the day. It was _The Dark Roots of The Rose _by Brother Antoninus. It was an alright poem, if read alone, but when the words were coming out of Mr. Cullen's smooth, sinuous, plump lips than it was an orgasm.

"Love cries regenerate and lust moans consumed,

Shaken in terror on that rage of breath.

Untrammeled still the red rose burns on

And knows no death.

Petal by crimson petal, leaf by leaf,

Unfolds the luminous core, the bright abyss,

Proffers at last the exquisite delight

Of the long kiss."

I _almost _came. I mean, how could I not? He said love, lust, moan, burns, luminous core, exquisite delight, and fucking kiss. Instead of just letting my self come in a quivering dripping mess on my old wooden chair, I instead thought about puppies, and my grandma, and then finally God.

It helped somewhat, but I was still on the edge.

Damn him and his alluring mannerisms.

**Mr. Cullen POV**

Okay, so… I hate teaching.

The boys are pricks, the girls are sluts, the teachers are boring idiots, and the school is pretentious.

Don't get me wrong, the short pleated skirts and the knee high socks and the Mary Jane's and the white blouses are a fucking turn on and all that shit… but that only works for so long.

I know, I know. I'm the pervert teacher who's too old to get laid by the teenagers. Ten years older than the oldest kids isn't _terrible_, just kind of frowned upon generally.

Why am I a teacher at the most elite school in all of Washington state? It's the goddamn literature. A perfectly crafted poem is like an open and waiting slut on my bed. It just doesn't get better.

I'm not a man whore who takes advantage of the girl students. I bide my time between Tanya Denali, getting sloppy head and not tight enough penetration sex… and jacking off several times a day to thoughts of Bella Swan.

I want her to suck my dick. I want to fuck her soft pillowy tits. I want to shove my rock hard and throbbing cock into her aching pussy. I would even anal fuck her, because I have the feeling that she would like it.

I want to shove my tongue up her slick cunt, I want to suck on her swollen clit. I want to shove my cock in every orifice of her body. I want to fuck her on the beach, and I wouldn't even care about diseases or chaffing sand. I want to make a porno with her and watch it with her, and then get each other off religiously.

She is ridiculous. Long creamy white legs, round perfect perky breasts straining against the buttons on her almost see through white blouse, perfect round ass, that bounces slightly when she walks. And her fucking _face. _Good lord. Big brown eyes that look innocent, perfect plump cherry red lips, and her fucking bone structure screams at me to touch her.

And she's smart too, I'm not just a jerk concerned with looks. For her first essay she examined and deconstructed Leonard Cohen's _Suzanne _to perfection. For the first time, I was aroused by penmanship. I wanted to touch her perfect body with my mind.

I had taken to teaching all of the classes I had with her sitting down. The erections could not be stopped. I hadn't even had this kind of horny endurance when I was a teenager. Now I was cumming at least three times a day. If things got particularly bad, I would say I wad going to get a coffee in the middle of class, and then I would bail to the boys bathroom on the second floor and jack my shit into the toilet.

I didn't have any self control, the longest it took to get me off was like five minutes these days. The second I pictured her plump lips wrapped around my hard and ready cock I was shaking and whimpering and ejaculating more sperm than I _ever _had before and just an altogether mess.

That particular time in the bathroom I yelled so loud that the janitor came in and investigated. I claimed I ate to much cayenne pepper with lunch. He sympathized greatly.

Bella Swan was killing me. If she wasn't acting all innocent and girly and virtuous, she was rubbing her ass on the chair while she adjusted herself and crossing her legs and clenching and breathing heavily and biting her pencil.

It got me so hard that I couldn't control myself anymore, I almost even started just rubbing one off in class one day when she was acting particularly horny and naughty. Mike Newton coming up and asking me how to spell 'wisdom' was enough to make me loose my erection.

And I'm not an idiot. I can _see _the way that girls look at me and I know what they're thinking. And I am almost positive Bella thinks the same, but how am I supposed to act on that? I can't be all 'Hey Bella, wanna fuck? Even though I'm your teacher and will probably try to stick my tongue in your ear at every available opportunity.'

That shit wouldn't fly.

So, I settled for staring at her and imagining her ass in the air as I gave her a rim job. Yeah, I was a dirty old man, and she was a hot little slut who was begging for my dick… well, in my mind at least.

I was so infatuated with her that I even remember the first thing I ever said to her:

"Ms. Swan, would you fucking pay attention?" It started many of the kids at first because they had never really heard a teacher say anything worse than 'hell' or something, but they quickly became accustomed to it. I think it made me even cooler to the group of adolescents, the bad ass teacher who looks like a good fuck. And believe me, I am. I could make Bella scream my name seven ways from Sunday. Whatever the hell that means.

But anyways, that's what I was said to her as she was wiggling around in her seat and staring at her desk and blushing. There was no mistaking that she was thinking about fucking, girls are so obvious when they are. Thinking that Bella thinking about sex made me think about fucking her. I couldn't sit down, so I just continued to pace the front of the room with my beaten up copy of "The Norton Introduction to Literature: Poetry" in hand, I was reading _The Dark Roots of The Rose _by Brother Antoninus, and I could practically hear the girls soaking their panties. But the only panties I was concerned with were Bella's. I was almost positive that she was lace boy shorts girl, I just needed visual confirmation to be sure.

I am a horny cocky mother fucker, but I never claimed I wasn't. I stared at Bella the whole time I read the somewhat smutty poem, and she was staring blankly at something. Damn her for not paying attention to me. I could feel my erection growing and I almost started crying when I heard the bell ring.

"No homework." I mumbled as the students filed out. Bella was the first to leave, booking it out of the classroom as Mike fucking Newton chased after her, visibly panting.

Gross children.

I looked at the clock and saw that I had twenty minutes before Tanya was coming to meet me at my office, so I figured I could get in a few jacking sessions before I had to live through inane chatter at a sub par restaurant.

I practically ripped my pants off as I ran to my personal office, adjoined to my classroom. The door locked, and there was no windows, so it was the perfect sanctuary. I didn't even bother taking off anything, only pushing my pants and boxers down so they rested by my knees and started jacking like my life depended on it. I was oozing pre-cum, I didn't even have to use lotion anymore like I used to before I met Bella.

My first orgasm racked through my body by just thinking her name. And about lotion, and how she would spread it into her skin perfectly, moisturizing very available patch of skin.

I was hard again, I started going slower trying to prolong the pleasure, but within seconds I had to keep stopping so I wouldn't explode all over the place.

"Fuck… Bella…" I groaned, my head falling back on the couch. My hand was moving fast now as I pictured her undressing for me. I came again, and didn't even stop when my dick was almost too sensitive to touch and I was getting soft. I just used the sperm that had dripped onto my hands as extra lubrication and just kept jacking myself for all I was worth.

I came again, groaning and crying out so loudly that I had to shove a pillow over my face to shut myself up. After I had calmed down I looked at the clock, I still had seven minutes left. After some deliberation, I decided to clean up instead of going for another session.

As I wiped the copious amounts of solidifying white jizz off my thighs, dick, and hand I quickly pulled my pants up and fixed my hair in the mirror above my leather couch. As I looked at myself in the mirror I started to feel guilty. She was only a kid, and I was a horny old guy that wanted to fuck her senseless. It was then that Tanya knocked on my door. I should be satisfied with her, she let me do stuff to her and shit, and she was hot to most people.

But she did this annoying thing were she would talk like she was in a porno when I fucked her. It was kind of funny, I had to stifle my laughs in my hand sometimes when she really got going.

She would say things like, "Fuck me big boy!" and "I am so naughty!" But she would say it all breathlessly with this red face, while she rode my cock, and it was just hilarious. She thought my shaking was from extreme pleasure but it was from restrained laughter.

I had better orgasms that took two minutes to achieve than she could give me from an hour of full coitus. It was getting to be kind of embarrassing that I was fantasizing about a student while having sex with an eligible teacher slut, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.

"Where are we going babe?" Tanya asked as I opened the door and walked out. Annoying habit number two: she calls me 'babe'.

"I don't know… the movies?" Annoying habit number three: she doesn't plan ahead.

"Sure thing, there's the new Cameron Diaz one that I want to see." She flipped her red- blonde hair over her shoulder. Annoying habit number four: she's not a brunette.

**Okay, so basically all this story is going to be is smut, I promise, as God is my witness that I will have smut in every chapter… I'll try to think of a plot and all that shiz to if it's really necessary.**

**Please review! **


	2. The Fountain of Life and Masturbation

**Mr. Cullen's POV**

The date was sub par to say the least.

We did, much to my disappointment go and see the newest Cameron Diaz. It had that guy from fucking that 70s Show in it, which is funny… when your high.

I got a half assed dick palming, and popcorn spilled all over my new DKNYs when Tanya got a little randy.

Needless to say I dropped off Tanya, claiming I had a stomach ache and flew out of her apartment parking lot like a bat out of hell. I didn't even walk her to her door; I used to be such a gentleman when I actually used to care.

I couldn't just dump her, claiming that I had fallen for someone else. There were several things wrong with this:

She would want to know who it was, and I couldn't just up and tell her it was the eyegasm delight that was Bella Swan.

She would get all clingy and depressed, and she was a teacher at the same school that I was. I didn't want to be the bad guy… they served Starbucks at the meetings- I couldn't just let that up.

She would probably be up for a threesome, which would be hot if Tanya didn't pale so much in comparison to Bella. I'm sure that Bella could simultaneously get us all of at the same time.

Who else could I get constant pussy from? Sure, I would take my hand over Tanya's slightly misshaped coital instruments, but I cam too quickly when I was by myself. If I had Tanya, then I could prolong my pleasure for as long as I stared at her and didn't think about Bella.

I am a dick, a big one. Everyone knows this, I know this, my parents know this, hell, even Bella knows this. I _like _being an asshole. It makes me different from the pristine teachers that I am forced to work along with.

Being an asshole has made me hang onto my youth, something I'm going to need if I'm going to be boning Bella every night if I have anything to say about it.

Mmmm… Bella.

Now, I'm all for 'road head' puts a thrilling spin on things, but there's something slightly creepy of a guy jacking himself as he drives past the students dorms and looks into the window of the beloved slut that is Bella.

I don't do this _often _it just so happens that I enjoy sitting by the fountain outside of the west wings of student dorms. And it just so happens that Bella happens to have a dorm on the second floor, facing the fountain… in the west wing of student dorms.

Okay, I'm not going to lie. I would abso-fucking-lutely _love _to climb up to her window and take her virginity on her twin sized bed like some perverted Tooth Fairy (I would leave her the used condom under the pillow- I'm not a jackass) and then climb back out like some perverted Romeo Montague. And then maybe climb through _her _chimney… like some kind of perverted Santa Clause. And then maybe make her suck on my eggs… like some kind of perverted Easter Bunny. But that's like, pretty much it.

The thing is that her window faces right to the fountain, which is right in front of the Dean's office. Which has surveillance cameras and all that fancy high tech shit. So, I would be caught, and then thrown in jail and then raped and stuff for doing absolutely _nothing_, so I usually forwent that particular weird holiday character/ tragic love character fantasy of mine.

So I usually just lived with sitting morosely on the stupid fountain that I _swear _must have been used in St. Elmo's fire because it said 'Knowledge, Art, Religion, and Life' which was just pathetic because this school was trying so hard to be profound that it was stealing props from one of the best/ worse movies in the great decade dubbed the 80s. What was even more _pathetic _was that I was sitting on the life side. I was officially the new Kirby Keger. Only I would be played by Rob Lowe… I'm no Estevez.

I just wish that Bella/ Dale Biberman would smile at me. Or like, come all over my hand. Either one is pretty damn fine with me.

It was starting to get dark and I couldn't just keep sitting here looking all sexy like Rob Lowe, and thinking about Bella with a perm, and Bella licking eggs suggestively, and chimneys, and getting raped in jail… and I kind of was hard because of the whole sexual frustration because I hadn't come in like two hours. And Stan, the oldest security guard was eyeing me, and I decided that I would save my raping for my inevitable jail sentence; I could get such lovely perks:

Getting complimented on my dick taking abilities (believe me, I would not cry… take it like a man and all that shit)

Maybe have a future career as a porn star from word of mouth.

Get extra food from the cafeteria. I did in fact let them sodomize me, what's an extra handful of tater tots?

Being known as the guy with the 'great ass'. Who _wouldn't _like that?

Thinking about 'tight asses' and shit like that was getting me harder, and I could see Stan was inching in my direction, so with a final lustful look in Bella's direction (I'm assuming, I hope to God Stan didn't interecept… it would make for some awkward conversations over the next staff meeting) I hopped back into the trusty Volvo and sped towards my apartment. I had an appointment with a shower and a bottle of body wash.

The appointment was prolonged. There was a message on my machine, it was Jessica jacking off. The moans and hard breathing could be easily substituted into Bella's, but the dirty talking and loud squelching noises could not. I deleted it without listening to it all.

The second one was from my mom, and I hadn't talked to her in like a month, so I called her back and I swear to God the woman talked for like two hours. I had to pretend my phone was dying just so I could get into that God forsaken shower.

Both Jessica's cum moans, and my mom going on about chandeliers had made my erection die down until it was almost sucked back into my body cavity, but as soon as I stepped into that stall and pictured Bella's wet hair I was hard as if I had been wanting to fuck all say. Which I had, but come on I had interruptions, and I was thinking about rape and all that shit, and I was _still _hard for her.

That was fucking devotion.

So I grabbed my Strawberry body wash, because it smelled _just _like her, and was used solely for shower jacking, so don't think I'm some girly guy who likes to surround my self in some cum hungry slut's scent (which I do, but that's beside the point… and she's not a slut… but cum hungry? Fuck yeah…).

I had to keep imagining Jessica on that machine doing some labia pulling to get me to calm the fuck down. I suddenly wished I had saved the message. Mental note: install answering machine in bathroom. For that matter, move entire contents of house into bathroom.

So I was doing pretty good, with the whole being distracted thing. I hadn't even touched myself yet, which was a huge step forward considering I couldn't even look at water without like, busting a nut these days.

Okay, I'm an adult. I need to stop with the movie referances, and the lists, and saying 'busting a nut' and being an altogether immature fool.

Oookay, now that that's out of the way, now to jack off to thoughts of my barely legal student!

I tried to take it slow, thinking about her face first, and then thinking about undressing her and BAM she was naked and I was fucking the proverbial shit out of her. God fucking Jesus Christ! I _almost _came… so I started thinking about kittens, and my grandpa, and Mary Magdalene. It kind of worked… but Mary was a girl right? And so was Bella, and I wanted Bella… so I had to want Mary right? Goddamn me and my hormonal brain, I'm past my sexual peak, but I don't think my body was aware of this fact.

"Okay, keep it together Eddie boy," I said quietly, my voice echoing off the steamy stall. I patted him on the head once for good measure… twice… okay, three times… four… _so _fucking good…. five, Bella suck my fucking cock… six… I'm gunna come, and STOP! So I stopped just as I was about to blow my load all over the undeserving glass shower door.

I decided to go for a different approach, shutting off the water and just sitting on the tub until all the water went down the drain and only the steam remained. I felt like I was in a sauna. So, I pictured there was an old naked guy next to me as I started up again. It helped kinda, but the guy had brown hair… and so did Bella. Did that mean I liked the guy? Fucking stupid hormones.

The first wave of telltale ecstasy hit me. I practically threw my hands back. I chanced a look down at Eddie. He looked mad. He was all twitchy and swollen and basically fuckng glaring at me. He even spit a little. So rude. When I thought it would be safe to touch him without getting hurt, I did.

I basically was only using one finger, knowing that if I used a full hand I would have been in trouble because it hadn't even been five minutes since I sat down. So I was just kind of tracing, using that one finger… and my dick was literally a volcano. I was fucking oozing pre- cum out of the swollen head of my dick and it was getting to be kind of painful.

So I did something bad. I pictured Bella in my shower with me. Just the mere thought that she would be in such close proximity to me while naked was enough to send me into a frenzy and Eddie finally found solace, spewing his happiness all over my fist… and maybe some in the air too… and some on my stomach… but that was all, and I was proud of myself because I had held out for longer than I thought I would.

It was then that I looked up and saw Tanya.

Thank fucking Rob Lowe that I hadn't said Bella's name.

**Bella's POV**

He was out at the fountain again.

I only noticed him because I had just gotten out of my bathroom because it was Wednesday and it was pillow stimulation day. I had gotten somewhat messy and needed to go and get some of the top quality toilet paper to clean up my poor defiled bed wear.

He was sitting on the 'Life' side like fucking Kirby Keger, and I just wanted to fuck him like fucking Andie McDowell should have(well, I wanted to fuck him like Ally Sheedy fucked Andrew McArthy, because that was just a quintisential sex scene), because he looked so cute, and like he was thinking about something really hard. And I was already wet and ready for some more finger loving.

I didn't really consider why he was at the fountain again, probably waiting for Tanya or something… or maybe Stan, they seemed to have in depth conversations.

'In depth' made me think of Mr. Cullen in _my _depths. Lord fuck, I _just _changed my underwear. There was no real avoiding it, I knew that when I started thinking about depths and Mr. Cullen, and fucking 80's sex scenes and shit that this night was going to end with another sexual session.

Second session of the evening? Free for all.

I practically sling shot myself into my computer chair and to the window, I knew that no one could see in my room, so I positioned myself with my legs on either side of the plastic handles and went crazy.

Just the sight of him there, with his lip all puffed out and him looking all brooding and pensive had me coming like a fucking horny school. Which I was.

It was actually kind of pathetic. It took like, ten seconds.

I could only imagine actually having sex with him, it would only take like a minute.

And that's when I passed out.

"Bella! What the fuck?! Why aren't you waking up?! Fucking give the goddamned key Jasper!" It was Alice's voice fucking vibrating my room. It was night… why would I have to be up? As I heard the key turning in the lock it was then that I remembered my predicament.

I was bare back in a computer chair, legs spread, fucking cum all over the chair, and… I was in front on the window. Before I could even move I heard a gasp, a whistle, a loud crash, and then laughter.

Fucking Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie in my room. I was still in the same position. In my sleep I had turned the chair around slightly, so I was now half facing them.

"The fuck…" Jasper muttered quietly. He was sprawled across the floor in complete disarray. The guy had on a fucking pair of plaid pants and large Mexican blanket as a sort of cape. The guy was a self proclaimed 'Southern Hipster'… which basically meant that everything he wore had to have something plaid involved. He even had a kilt that he frequented regularly.

Emmett was the one who whistled apparently. The guys muscles were fucking straining against his burgundy rugby shirt, and the veins looked a little more pronounced than usual. "Bella… a fan of Brazilian wax's I see?" The fucker was blasé about everything.

Rosalie was the laugher, she was fucking giggling into her hand like a fucking donkey and I wanted to kick her in the face.

Alice hadn't moved, the key still clutched in her hand.

"You wanna put your legs down there babe?" Alice asked after a while. I realized that I was still spread eagle, so I quickly snapped my legs shut. "Um… I'm assuming it's Mr. Cullen?" she asked, they _all _knew about my infatuation (and unrelenting horniness) with Mr. Cullen. It had become sort of a pastime for most of them to make fun of me about when they were bored.

"Well… _yeah_." I said, it was fucking obvious wasn't it? Like who else could reduce me to this position. Mmm… Mr. Cullen… positions.

And then I passed out again.

This time I woke up on my bed with Alice and Rosalie hovering over me. I had clothes on, I wasn't in front of the window, and my legs weren't open as wide as before.

"So… did you think about the cunningulus again?"I made the mistake of confiding in Jasper the first time I passed out, big mistake.

"Well, no… it was more like he was sitting at the fountain, and yeah, the whole position I was in and everything… but I'm like totally fine now. Like, _barely _even horny right now." I said proudly, much to the disagreement of my friends.

"That's such shit," Jasper said from my arm chair. He was smoking a joint in my room, fucking douche.

"Fucking open a window, you stupid fuck," Rosalie beat me to the punch.

"I don't know if we should, I mean will she try to fuck it? That window has serious sentimentality to it now you know." Emmett chimed in from where he was sitting on the floor, his hulking back up against my door.

"That's so funny." I said dryly, standing up. I then realized that I was fully dressed, deodorized and pantie-afied.

"Alice, you know I like to forgo panties for Mr. Cullen. It's only common courtesy. Not to mention hella polite." I said, trying to shimmy out of them without giving a free show.

"Fuck Bella!" Jasper yelled, his eyes all red and hooded, "That is _so _fucking rude!" He was so serious that I started laughing, and so did everyone else but he just curled up in his Mexican blanket and started to stroke it.

"Bella, if you take those off, I swear to _God _that I'm going to the guidance counselor, this is one encounter too many." Alice was pretty fucking serious so I decided to suck it up and wear the damn underwear.

The things I have to deal with.


	3. Sex and Masturbation

**Sorry, it wasn't supposed to be Jessica that left the message… it was supposed to be Tanya, silly me. **

**Continue on…**

**Bella POV**

Panties were _hella _uncomfortable when worn for long enough.

I mean, you get no fresh breeze… and the lace was fucking chaffing my goods. But I sucked it up, because I feared that Alice was actually serious about the whole guidance counselor shit, and the last thing I needed was Charlie getting a phone call that I was too sexually active or some shit. He would tell Renee in attempts to scorn her parenting skills… and no one should have to deal with being told their kid masturbates too much to be healthy.

But, I'm old fashioned.

So, I walked on campus with the crew. Alice grudgingly let Jasper play with her hair, and Emmett even was nice and picked up his poncho when it fell off of the pot head's shoulders.

I nearly creamed myself when I saw Mr. Cullen walking beside Tanya, sucking heartily on a cigarette, blowing it in Tanya's hair inconspicuously. I knew for a fact that he smoked Camel Straights, just like Troy in Reality Bites.

And he was blowing his smoke in her hair because she's a dirty slut who deserves to smell like recycled Starbucks and cigarettes. Damn fucking right.

And then I kind of fell over onto a nice patch of grass because he looked at me that same time that he blew out a perfect smoke ring, and his mouth was in that sexy 'o' shape and I just imagined that would be the way his mouth was shaped when he sucked on- and then I made myself stop because I didn't need another repeat of last night.

Then Jasper threw his poncho over me and called my time of death. He's just so fucking _fresh. _

"Bella. This is getting ridiculous. You are coming to mine and Alice's room tonight, and we're going to have a serious chat. There is _no _way it is normal for you to 'jill' off the amount of times that you do. You need to get laid, and I know just the guy to do it!" She punctuated the end of this sentence by grabbing onto a passing Mike Newton's collar and thrust him on the ground next to me.

"What the fu- oh hey Bella! Um, nice poncho…?" The kid was nice, there was no denying this. But he was like the Ben Stiller to my Winona Rider… he was cute and nice and funny… but he couldn't fuck and chuck the way that Ethan Hawke could. He couldn't be all torture- poet- drug-addict the way that Mr. Cullen was. Reality and movies have ceased to have any discernible differences for me.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for the bitch slap from Rosalie… I need to get to class." And then I booked it in the direction of the library, because I had some gay Science project about fucking Einstein or some shit. Sooo boring.

_45 minutes later_…

I fucking take that shit back!

Einstein was get this: a fucking Jew in Germany! Like fuck right? And then he basically fucking bitch slapped Adolph, because he was all 'I could have built the mother fucking Atom Bomb for you but you were all like NO JEW! So suck it bitch, fucking guzzle my glorious cum!' Only it was German so it probably sounded more angry and shit, but I don't fucking care because I will never meet anyone German… or Adolph Hitler, and fucking Einstein for that matter.

That is LEGIT the longest I have gone without thinking about Mr. Cullen and his Jock strap or some shit. What I wouldn't give to be a piece of plastic gently cupping his precious man parts. What I wouldn't give to be the strap, stretched taut over his lower back, resting comfortably above his shapely buttocks, making friends with the perfect little dimples above it.

Basically, I want to molest each and every part of Mr. Cullen, as an inanimate object.

Could you believe if he was into back door play?

Sweet baby Jesus.

But I was in a library, and I had to converse with fucking Lauren Malaroy, and there was a vent right by me, and I knew there might be some wafting of delicious Bella nectar… and it couldn't be wasted on Lauren's ungrateful and not-Mr.- Cullen's- shapely nose.

So I stopped fantasizing because it was just dirty with a girl near by (well, I used to a room full… but just one seemed a step away from carpet munching… which I would totally do if Mr. Cullen asked me to), and I needed to save my horniness for when I got home. After I had to have fucking therapy session at Rose and Alice's. There is _nothing _wrong with me. If Mr. Cullen would just forget about you know… the _law_ than I would be a normal teenager. Who was perpetually naked in her teacher's office. But that would definitely be an improvement from what I was living now.

So the day passed by in almost constant state of Purgatory, only being interrupted when I was accosted and sexually harassed by Eric Yorkie's near constant hard on in Spanish. And then Jasper and Emmett at lunch time, looking through an old Cosmo magazine (only God knows where they found it) and asking me how many of the techniques I used.

"Believe me, it happens all too fast…" I left them with that parting remark. That shut them up… probably because their motor skills are so under developed.

And then it was _finally _last period, and I was _finally _able to see the man that will one day be the first man to have multiple orgasms. Well, the first to actually have them just by _looking_.

Needless to say, by the time I got into English, I was hot and bothered. Flushed and had the dilated pupils going on and shit. Mr. Cullen wasn't there yet, so I gave my self a second to clam the fuck down and tried to stop water logging expensive lace.

When he walked in looking like sex.

Pure. Unrated. Slippery. Messy. Mind blowing sex.

I let out this breathy moan/ sigh/ whimper thing that I prayed nobody heard, but by the way Mike and Mr. Cullen were looking at me I know that they did.

Mr. Cullen smirked all knowingly like and scratched the back of his head as he walked to his desk. I wish that I was one of his fingers… forget about a medium sized dildo that in my wildest fantasies Mr. Cullen might use in some way or another… I wanted to be one of his fingers. Which ever on he licked the most… or which ever one he used to spread the pre-cum around the huge head of his dick as he jacked off.

I sighed again, sounding like a wounded fucking cat, and got even more attention from my fellow pupils. Mr. Cullen snapped the piece of chalk he was holding and basically slammed himself in his chair looking very freaked out and angry.

Ooops. Probably doesn't want horny girls rubbing their pussies on the Antique chairs in his classroom.

Must be some sort of hygiene issue.

**Mr. Cullen's POV**

She was fucking whimpering in my class room.

Fucking whimpering like she was trying to not come and rubbing her delicious lacy (I assumed) covered pussy all over my furniture. I would be licking that chair later to clean it off.

I didn't even worry about the potential hygiene issues.

And fucking Mike 'Fuckhead' Newton was looking at her thighs like they were God's gift to man (which they were) but they weren't his to look at… and his hair is stupid anyways so Bella _would not _even look at him.

I saw my delicious fuck Princess falling over this morning, and some obviously high blonde kid throwing a poncho over her body and randomly yelling out '3:25!' which didn't seem relevant in any way… but it was just so cute how she was flailing around under the blanket and I could see her thin legs (yet shapely, and just made to be wrapped around my neck, or my waist, or bent over as I fuck her sweet tight ass..) kicking out and trying to trip her friends and I just wanted to lick every inch of her body.

And then suddenly fucking Newton was lying beside her, and she was blushing and running and I would have given anything to be one of her ass cheeks. Or at least the inside of her skirt.

But that didn't change the fact that I was currently walking beside fucking Tanya, and blowing smoke in her hair, watching the small chemical reaction that was taking place.

Bleach and tar do not mix kids.

Believe me, seeing her face just after I had given my proverbial cum to Bella was terrifying to say the least.

"What are you doing Eddie?" Tanya asked all breathily, kneeling down beside the tub and leaning in close enough that I could smell that she hadn't graced her mouth with a breath mint lately.

"Um…" I was drawing a complete blank, like I had _no _excuse. I almost blurted out 'I JUST FUCKED MY CHAFFING DICK TO THOUGHTS OF THE MOST HOTTEST PIECE OF ASS TO EVER GRACE THE EYES OF GOD (ME) AND SHE'S A STUDENT AND REGULARLY CUMS IN MY CLASSROOM ALL OVER THE ANTIQUE WOODEN CHAIRS!' But I didn't, because I knew I would get hard again… not to mention probably bitch slapped and fired, but that didn't matter as much as unwillingly getting an erection in front of Tanya and her thinking she caused it.

"Did you listen to my message?" She fucking purred, scraping her weird square nail with like white paint on the tip and I was all whatever, I get pussy right?

"Yeah…. Really... really, um good…?" I almost phrased it as a question because I was so fucking HAPPY I wouldn't have to yell out the afore mentioned statement in all caps.

"Fucking strip." I ordered, leaning back into the tub and trying really hard to think about only Tanya and not about the doe eyed cum guzzler that was probably taking a shower right now. I wanted to be attracted to Tanya, I honestly did. It's GOT TO be unhealthy to be constantly fantasizing about a girl ten years younger than me at every available moment. But, no matter how hard I tried I could only feel like, a six pence of shame for anything I ever thought about doing to Bella.

God. Bella. Brown. White. Pink. Flowers. Pussy. Blush. Legs. Breasts. Thighs. Cumming in my classroom.

_Fuck. _

At least I was semi hard now, and Tanya seemed to be encouraged to she continued to take off what she was wearing (skinny jeans, fucking hoodie, and a tube top… is she twelve?) and her thong, which personally I find are over rated. Wouldn't you have a nice, scrumptious piece of lace gently cupping your lover's buttocks, other than being harshly shoved between them? But I can't judge. I need to focus.

So she was naked now, and she had what people like to refer to as a 'landing strip' and it was all blonde AND red and I wondered if she liked dyed every other hair as she did with her actual hair. As you can tell I much prefer the Brazilians.

I can practically _feel _myself licking Bella's soft, hairless lower lips… all slick with my saliva, cum, and her fucking _delicious _juices.

"Edward, why are you doing that with your tongue?" I heard Tanya ask timidly. I opened my eyes and looked down and realized that I was fucking lapping at the air.

"Um… just thinking about… you!" I fucking giggled. I was messed the fuck up, this brown eyed Goddess of the ass fuck and blow job is messing with my head. I never giggle. I make fucking chap wearing bikers giggle. And this 5 foot 4 walking, talking, breathing, fucking, moaning, whimpering orgasm reincarnate was making me giggle just by thinking about her.

"I'm going to make you feel _so good_." She moaned, rubbing her hands down her body. Before I knew Bella, and my eyes had graced her amazing bone structure, I would have thought this was hot. I wouldn't have been able to wait to shove myself balls deep in some awaiting sub par pussy.

But instead, I'm practically _begging _for this blonde, easily fuckable bimbo to leave me so I can jack off to thoughts of Bella. Good lord, what has happened to me? It was like I was no longer heterosexual. I was only Bellasexual. She was the _only _one I would ever want touching my dick, and I was the _only _one allowed to _ever _touch her, any part of her.

By this time, Tanya looked like she was getting pretty worked up, and she was sweating and I was wondering what Bella's sweat would taste like, and she was kind of shaking, and she looked about ready to burst, so I jumped out of the bath (tantalizing hard on jumping around in front of me… I am allowed to appreciate my endowments) and just grabbed her and shoved her against the wall and just… fucked.

I pulled out, all the way to the tip, and thrust back in. She wasn't tight enough, and she wasn't wet enough. I kept having to try really hard to push in, and then I realized I should probably touch her or something so I could get some fucking lubrication, and some fucking piece of mind.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard, you won't be able to fucking walk tomorrow." I was using my over used clichéd dirty talk, because I didn't want to waste my good shit on Tanya.

Along with the clit reconnaissance and the dirty talking, she _finally _began to get wet and then my movements were a lot more smoother, but still… no pleasure.

She was panting pretty hard now, and all squirming and pressing up against me… and all I could think about was: 'I wonder if Tanya's had a child?' Because there was no way in hell that her pussy could be any more spacious other wise. I could probably shove like… two more dicks in there, I'm guessing. But I'm not one for crossing swords, so I tried to focus on her tits mashed against my chest and my dick disappearing into the fucking cavern she called a vagina.

And then I felt her come because I was rubbing that clit like my life depended on it, and I felt her tighten, and this was a tiny bit better, because I could at least feel something around my dick. So, needless to say, I wasn't taking my finger off of her clit...

And it worked, because she kept tightening, and I kept thinking about Bella and within seconds I was cumming and so was she, and I couldn't resist _not _saying Bella's name… so I did, but in this strangled whimper that almost made it sound like I was saying 'Tanya'.

I've had better orgasms sleeping. I kid you not. I would take a wet dream over Tanya's vaj any day. Within seconds I was thinking about Bella, so I kind of almost dropped Tanya and pulled out of her, not wanting to subject my dick to anymore unnecessary torture.

"That was so fucking amazing," Tanya sighed, squealing at the end when I practically whipped her jeans at her.

"So… see you at school tomorrow?" I choose that exact phrasing because that was something I could say to Bella after we had finished fucking.

Mmmm. Bella. Fucking. Get. Tanya. Out.

"Yeah Eddie baby! I'll be waiting for you in the parking lot!" Note to self: walk tomorrow. I needed the exercise… get the blood from my dick back to my feet.

"Yeah. Sure thing." I knew I was being a dick, but how many times did I have to 'fuck and chuck' Tanya with no emotion and with no consideration for her feelings before she actually understood that I wasn't interested?

After I had fucked her in my car and then pushed her out a drove away, I expected her to never talk to me again, but there she was on my door step before I even got home… and I _drove. _From then on I decided she was a witch and needed to be treated as such.

But anyways, Bella practically coming in my classroom.

After a particularly breathy and wanton lust moan from dear Goddess, Nymph, divine Bella I broke the chalk I was starting to write with and slammed down in my seat.

I didn't want to harm the virginal eyes of my students with the raging hard on I was now sporting behind my jeans, so I decided that sitting down was the way to go.

I sneaked a glance over at Bella and saw that she was biting her lip and looking down at her desk and I decided that this class could only end in one way.

I was going to make Bella come on my hands, face, dick... whatever.

I was going to make Bella orgasm in front of me.

**Song: Sex Me Up- Datarock **

**Review if you please!**


	4. Fantasizing and Masturbation

**Mr. Cullen POV**

"How do you want me?" Bella asked, sauntering up to my desk. She stopped demurely in front of it, crossing her hands behind her back. Her breasts were full and round and perky and I just wanted to grab them.

"Come here." I choked out, looking up at her in awe. I was sure I looked like a 14 year old, getting laid for the first time. I was sweating and panting and hard as fuck, and she hadn't even touched me yet.

"No. You only get to watch… now, how do you want me?" She was so naughty and sinful I couldn't even respond. She smirked at me, moving back until the back of her thighs hit the first desk she ran in to. She hopped up on it, her pleated skirt rising into dangerous territory.

"You know… I didn't take you for a quiet lover," she whispered, spreading her legs inch by inch until they rested on either side of the desk. She was now open and dripping and just begging for cock. But she was calm about it, and I appreciated it, because if she lost control, than I would.

She brought her hands up to her shirt, smoothing them over the fabric until she got to her breasts. She tweaked her rosy nipples through the fabric, letting out a quiet whimper and looking at me with hooded eyes.

"Do you want more?" She asked, unbuttoning her shirt at a snails pace. I could only nod, I'm sure if I opened my mouth than I would have let out a very embarrassing moan.

Suddenly her shirt was off, and she threw it at me. It landed on my chest and I stared at it dumbly. She let out a small giggle, and I was brought back to the amazing woman half naked in front of me. Just as I had guessed, her nipples were rosy pink and begging to be sucked. Her stomach was flat and toned, and her breasts were just _perfect. _They were round, and perky and full, and they looked plush and bouncy and squishy.

My erection was straining through the fabric of my pants and I was so glad that I had finally just gave into my desires, instead of pushing Bella away.

"Touch yourself," The words were out of my mouth before I even realized it. My voice sounded husky and deep, and the cigarettes I had been smoking for all these years finally became apparent in my voice.

Bella grabbed both of her tits, palming them and squeezing them before I could even comprehend that she had moved. She let out this delicious, erection burning, whimpering, fuck me moan. I had to ball up my fists and bite my lip so I didn't tear open my pants and unleash the beast.

I could do nothing but watch. She was rubbing her whole torso, licking her fingers and pinching her nipple and making little squeaking noises, and she was making me _crazy. _I realized after a while that she had stopped completely and was just staring at me.

"Um… what…?" I was an idiot. I couldn't even form proper sentences.

"I said, how many fingers should I use? I'm so tight I can only use up to two," she pouted looking genuinely disappointed that she couldn't impale herself on her whole fucking hand.

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.

And I just lost it. I just jumped up and grabbed her and slammed her against that desk and ripped that damn skirt down her legs. She was bare and glistening and shiny and pink and I was going to die of pleasure.

"You're such a little bitch. Teasing me every day, making me not want, but _need _to fuck you senseless. You waste your come when you're fantasizing about me in my class, when you could be letting it drip down my dick. You're not in charge any more. Now get on the floor and suck my cock until I come down your throat." Yay. I had regained speech. Now, that was my good dirty talking, not the shit I wasted on Tanya.

The look on Bella's face was priceless. She blushed and looked up at me through her eyelashes sheepishly.

"Do it." I groaned into her ear, somewhat angrily. I sucked on her neck, right behind her ear until she was whimpering and squirming.

"Get down." I said one more time. Needless to say, she was quick to comply. I looked down, and she was there, unzipping my pants and looking kind of nervous. I figured that she was probably a teensy bit scared, so I put my finger under her chin, lifting her head up. I gave her this reassuring smile, and she must have been affected by it because she got that damn mischievous smirk on her lips again and basically whipped my pants down to my knees.

I didn't even feel my boxers come down, but they must have, because all I could feel was Bella's mouth around my dick.

"Oh, fuck Bella!" I moaned so loudly I'm surprised Stan didn't come to check out the scene. She moaned around my dick, somehow putting it even further into her mouth. I was trying so hard not to come, and then I just let my self go, and appreciate the pleasure.

And then I felt the tightening in my balls, and I was thrusting into her mouth, and then-

_**RING**_

I opened my eyes and realized. Hey, I was still in class. Hey, everybody is staring at me. Hey, none of that shit EVER FUCKING HAPPENED.

I almost fucking punched Newton when he went to grab Bella's arm to help her out of her desk, but then I remembered my plan.

"Bella, I need you to stay after class. Extra credit and all that shit." I mumbled, the look on Mike's face was murderous. The look on Bella's face was hard to read.

**Bella POV**

"Follow me Bella, you've been a bad girl." He said darkly as he grabbed my arm and pulled me toward his office. The door was closed and I was on the leather couch before I could even comprehend what had happened.

"What did I do wrong Mr. Cullen?" I asked, getting scared and desperately turned on by how forceful he was being.

"You want me to fuck you. That's what you're doing wrong. You tease me until all I can think about is shoving my cock so deep inside of you that you'll never want me to come out. I'm going to punish you. Now get those fucking clothes off." I was stunned. I couldn't move. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought that something like this would happen.

"You're. Taking. To. Fucking. Long." He ground out, shoving his hips against mine and ripping off my shirt. I was dripping. I had _never _been this turned on before. I buried my face into his neck and cried out loudly, gripping onto his arms as hard as I could, I had to make sure that this was real.

"That's it baby, beg and moan and cry out for my dick. You know that you want it. Say it." He was on a roll, and I was going to come blindingly fast if he didn't slow down.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck , oh fuck…" I chanted quietly, squeezing my eyes shut when he pushed his covered dick against my heated pussy once more.

"Say it out loud Bella, or you wont get it." He whispered harshly into my ear. I couldn't believe this was happening, I was a mess, I couldn't even function.

"I want your cock," I almost sobbed against his chest. He chuckled, flipping up over so he was sitting and I was straddling his waist.

"Oh fuck!" I moaned out, louder than I ever have before when my cunt slammed against his dick. "Oh, I can't wait, please, please, please fuck me!" I was basically crying, wiggling in his lap. I was going crazy from the fucking friction.

"Stay still Bella, I'm going to make you feel good. But you have to stop moving." He said seriously looking me in the eye. I nodded with as much vigor as I could. He smiled that crooked smile at me, and I felt his hand travel down my exposed stomach and slip just underneath my skirt.

"Mmm, lace. Just like I guessed." He moaned into my neck, his hand traveling lower. I _really _couldn't take it. My heart was beating so fast, and I was so hot, and I was breathing so hard I never thought I would be back to normal again.

And then his fingers were touching me. Touching my bare skin. Touching my dripping pussy.

"Shit, fuck, jesus, mother fucker!" I moaned, squirming again and thrusting toward his hand. And then his hand was gone, and I almost started crying.

"I told you to stay still. Now you have to be quiet too. Now behave." He growled at me. I could only nod, my body wasn't even mine anymore, it was his.

He slowly ran his index finger though my juices, slowly swirling his finger around my opening. He was avoiding my clit, which would probably be good in the long run. He stuck his finger in an inch, and I caved in on him, gripping his hair in my fingers as if my life depended on it.

"You need to relax. You need to be relaxed for what I do next." He whispered in my ear. I nodded against his shoulder, my muscles unlocking and turning into jelly just because he asked.

He didn't take his finger out, just pushing it in more and more until he couldn't push it in any farther. I was pretty sure I was about to completely cave in upon myself, but then he started thrusting it back and forth and then I really started to go crazy. I moaned, right into his neck and he stiffened. I felt his erection grow impossibly bigger and thicker against my thigh.

I couldn't even focus on the pleasure because there was so much else that I had to think about. His lips on my face. His dick on my thigh. His hands on my pussy, my waist, my tits.

"Spread you legs wider Bella," He said lowly, tapping the inside of my thigh with his free hand. I did as he asked, I would do anything he asked. He started to spread my wetness further and further, until he was openly circling my _other _opening.

"Oh shit," I squeaked when I realized what he meant when he said I needed to relax more. My clit was on fire, throbbing and swollen beyond belief. I was too over stimulated, without being touched where I needed it the most.

He started to push his finger in, slowly at first. Just kind of probing, and I was enjoying it, believe me. I never knew that something that taboo and generally frowned upon could feel so fucking _good. _

"You're so fucking tight. I'm going to come the second I cram my cock into that tight whole of yours." He moaned into my ear. I was a blob. And amorphous, pleasure filled, corrupted blob. I was _so _horny. He wasn't touching my clit, so I did what I needed to do. I followed my deepest animalistic desires and started rubbing my clit like my life depended on it.

"Oh fuck, oh Edward! Uh-" He did something I never thought he would do (never mind the dirty talking, and the clothes ripping, and the anal stimulation)… he kissed me. Full and messy and sloppy and wet right on the lips. I moaned and started thrusting against his hand harder, he finally started to pick up the pace, swatting my hand away from my clit and starting in on it himself. His tongue was better than anything I had ever tasted or felt in my life. If I could live on just his tongue forever, I would be the happiest person alive.

And then I was just about to come, and-

_**RING**_

FUCKING JESUS CHRIST ALL MIGHTY!

I opened my eyes and looked around and realized that I was still in class and that Mike was tugging on my arm to get me to sit up.

"Bella, I need you to stay after class. Extra credit and all that shit." I heard Mr. Cullen's velvet voice sound from in front of me. I looked up to actually see if it was real, and I wasn't just imagining it. But there he was looking at me, and throwing the occasional glare at Mike. I nodded dumbly, not knowing what the fuck I would need extra credit for, but I went with it.

"Um, okay Mr. Cullen." Just saying his name brought back memories of my fantasy and I was getting even more wet, if that was even necessary.

It was then that I realized that I had actually thought of Mr. Cullen engaging in acts with me, and I hadn't passed out. This was a milestone. I did a little dance in my head, congratulating myself for actually maturing.

He smiled at me, that crooked smile that I just wanted to suck off of his face, and I looked down so I didn't blush or something stupid like that.

And I blushed anyway at what I saw.

I had soaked my skirt all the way through to where it was clearly visible to the naked human eye. And then I really started to panic, because I couldn't obviously stand up. And then I realized that if Mr. Cullen came to stand by my desk, he would not be only be able to see it, but smell it too. I grabbed my binder and slammed it down on my lap. I felt like a pubescent boy having to hide his erection.

Just as I was about to start crying, I was saved by the people I had wanted to see the least a few hours previous. Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett busted in, smacking poor Eric Yorkie in the face with the heavy wood door.

I was so out of it, I couldn't even think about Mr. Cullen and _his _heavy, hard wood.

"Alright, clear the way! Therapy session under way!" Emmett yelled, pushing people out of his way left and right with his hulking biceps.

"Bella, get your ass out of that fucking chair." Alice hissed, standing in front of me. Her little hands were on her little hips and I couldn't have been more terrified.

Mr. Cullen cleared his throat then, raising his eyebrow when everyone turned to look at him.

"Sorry about the swearing Mr. C." Alice said without even turning around to look at him when she apologized.

"Bella, do we have to say it one more time? Get up!" Rosalie was a bitch. I hated her. So they all just stared at me, while I stared at them. I couldn't just come out and say 'I was fantasizing about my teacher, and kind of soaked my skirt all the way through. If I were to stand up then a waterfall would surely result.

"I can't." I settled for whispering harshly at them, purposefully looking down at my lap.

"What did she say? And what is that smell?" Emmett wondered thoughtfully before understanding dawned on his face. God bless the brute. The stupidest out of us all realized my problem. His lips pressed together tightly before he slyly glanced underneath the table.

Before I could even glare at him for being so obvious, he had grabbed me and was running out of the room with me, holding me far away from his body. As if my nectar was going to wreck his clothes or something.

"Grab her shit! Grab her shit!" I heard Jasper yell as he booked it after us.

Fucking idiots.

**There, TWO sex scenes…. But not quite. Hot nonetheless. **

**Song: No Sex For Ben- The Rapture**


	5. Realizations and Failed Masturbation

**Bella's POV**

"WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCK!?" I screamed, not even caring that I was being practically catapulted by various staff and alumni.

"GOD! I CAN FEEL IT WAFTING ON MY CLOTHES! JESUS FUCK, LETS GET HER IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE SO WE CAN DEAL WITH THIS SHIT!" Emmett was full out screaming behind me, and I think he was being a little melodramatic. I mean, I wasn't 'wafting' as he so delicately put it.

It was then that I looked down.

Let's just say…the tops of my socks were wet.

"DID YOU GRAB HER SHIT? DID YOU GRAB HER SHIT?" Jasper was hysterical, full out sprinting behind us. I distantly wondered whether he was still intoxicated or not. It was probably more likely, seeing as he had exchanged his poncho for a rainbow coloured beanie.

"YES! YOU FUCKING RETARD, I GOT HER SHIT!" Alice screamed, for once being less than Godly towards her future husband.

"YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING DEAD! DO YOU REALIZE THAT HE ASKED ME TO STAY AFTER CLASS?! DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE OF THIS?!" I didn't even stop screaming as we ran through the halls of Emmett and Jasper's dorm building. Emmett punctuated the end of my sentence by whipping me on the bed and going to grab towels simultaneously.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP EVERYONE!" Rosalie finally said something. She was standing at the door, holding my slightly um… wet… binder in her hands and my school appointed wool beret. Everyone kind of stared at her for a while, she was breathing heavily, a drop of sweat dripping from her hairline.

"We need to calm down." The only expletive not in capitols was said, and the room was silent.

"Fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you, and fuck you!" I cried flipping over on the bed and sobbing into the pillow.

"Aw, Bella. We're sorry, don't be sad…" Alice said, coming to sit beside me and stroking my hair soothingly. Stroking Mr. Cullen's cock through his pants? Delicious as fuck.

"Yeah Bella… so you soaked both your underwear and heavy wool skirt through… that's not even that bad." I heard Emmett say down by my feet. I felt the rough terry cloth going over my legs and I started crying even harder.

"What if he saw? Oh god, my juices are probably all over that chair too!"

"Bella… no offense, but that's like the least obvious you've ever been in front of him…" Rosalie was trying to be comforting now, coming to sit on my other side and rub my back.

"Oh good sweet Lord, our Savior Jesus. H. Christ! You're right! He was probably keeping me so that he could tell me I can't come to class any more because personal sexual liquids are bad for aged Oak!" The sobs were coming harder now. It was reminiscent of Molly Ringwald's freak out in Pretty in Pink. The bed was Andrew McCarthy, and I was being none too nice.

"Um, I would have never brought this up, considering Bella would bust a 'proverbial nut' if she found out. But, when we ran in right after the bell rang, I kind of was in the proper line of site to see Mr. Cullen's lower half… and… he was sporting major wood…" Jasper trailed off, bracing himself for the inevitable impact.

"What the FUCK did you just say?" An eerie calm came over me. No one doubted that I wouldn't kill Jasper if he was lying. I'm sure they would have all taken the rap for me.

I have few moral rules that I live by in life.

Never eat a full bag of chips in one sitting.

Never wear spandex when I'm old.

And by far the most important…

DO NOT JOKE ABOUT MR. CULLEN'S ERECTILE HAPPENINGS.

Just _don't _do it. Emmett made the mistake of implying that Mr. Cullen had a small cock. That faggy earring he had in his left ear? Ripped out. By my mother fucking canine teeth.

"I, um, said that Mr. Cullen had a pretty sizable and uh, beautiful," He was just grasping at straws now, "Erection." Jasper finished, looking up at me timidly.

"OMFG! OMFG! OH EM EFFFF GEEEEEE!" Alice screamed, cutting through the tension in the room with a pink bedazzled machete.

"What? Did short hair finally come back in style?" Rosalie snickered at her own joke, I'm not going to lie, we all did.

"Fuck you guys. I'm vogue!" Alice stomped her foot, framing her face like she was fucking Madonna or something. Luckily, my fairy like friend was not blond, fakely British, or overly muscled in any way, so we let that shit slide.

"I love your hair honey. It feels so soft and pliable in between my fingers when we're-"

"What did you want to say Alice?" I was getting impatient. If Mr. Cullen had an erection while I was less than 10 meters away, I had an appointment with… something. I would have to consult the schedule later.

"Okay, I've had these suspicions you could call them, like these weird clairvoyant like feelings. I would never actually say anything to you for fear of being used for some sick sexual device."

"Get. On. With. It." Would my horniness always be subjected to ridicule?

"Okay. Chillz. But I always thought that I saw Mr. Cullen kind of appearing in places that he shouldn't be. Like, whenever we sneak off to go to a club. He's there at the bar. Whenever we have our sleepovers, he's sitting on that fucking fountain like some bad 80's reject. And I _swear _to the Good Lord that I saw a silver Volvo when we were skinny dipping last summer." Alice finished, huffing loudly. Throughout the whole speech she was pacing, and slapping her hands together with every point. I didn't really see what she was getting at. I was horny, I was angry, I was slightly motion sick, and I wanted to be left alone.

"I'm not getting-"

"Wasn't he at Lolapalooza last year too? Like randomly standing with a beer and a Joy Division shirt?"

"Yeah! And when we drew with permanent marker on all the American Eagle merchandise, he was buying a pair of boxers! Overly priced, for that matter."

"Oh fuck, and when we got drunk and went to Chuck-E-Cheese! He was just sitting at the tables, eating that gross pizza!"

"And when I got high and tried kicking in the window of that drug store… He fucking _helped._"

"Jesus, and when we made Emmett and Jasper get those pedicures two weeks ago. He was just fucking _there_."

I looked blankly at all the amazed faces of my idiot coked up friends.

"So, what are you saying? That he's stalking us?" Mr. Cullen had better things to do with his time… like watch porn. Jeez.

"No, he's stalking _you. _He's just as crazy and weirdly sexually maniacal for _you _as you are for _him._ Why would he ask you to stay after class when his dick could be used for a rock climbing tool? So he could read you a fucking poem? No, so he could fuck you until you couldn't walk anymore, and couldn't even think about ever having to have sex again." Alice finished off, sinking onto Jasper's lap from the sheer brunt of it all.

"Did you happen to blaze with Jasper today? You know that boy's weed ain't clean." That was the only way that Alice could be thinking any of this, she had to be bunked out of her mind.

"Maybe, but that's besides the point! Don't you guys agree with me?"

"Fucking hell yes!"

"It's the only thing that makes sense Bella. Mr. Cullen wants to do the nasty with you. Not just one nasty, every nasty there could possibly be. I hope you own anal beads…" Jasper finished with flair, I'll give the kid that.

"So… what you guys are trying to tell me is that Mr. Cullen wants to have dirty, sweaty, animalistic sex with me… and no one else?"

"That's EXACTLY what we're saying."

"So, what do you fucking geniuses suppose that I do? I can't just bring him up to my room, that might arouse some suspicion, seeing as I'll probably be carrying a whip."

"Bella, Bella, Bella! How naïve you are! It's called, the timeless art of _seduction._"

**Mr. Cullen's POV**

The _fuck _just happened.

Seconds ago, I was looking at the most holiest of holy potential meaningful fucks… and now she's _gone._

All I can comprehend that Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice (Bella's besties) came and took her away.

Those motherfucking _bastards._

I used to _like _Bella's friends. They were chill, and bad ass, and all together mature… but after watching Emmett holding Bella at arms length while the perpetually high Jasper yelled for the girls to "grab her shit" and then them disappearing… I would just have to rethink my student popularity ranking.

I'm not going to lie… I knew _everything _about Bella. I knew who her best friends were, and what they did on the weekends.

I just didn't know the important stuff, like when kind of underwear she wore… or if she had like, a masturbation schedule or some shit.

Jesus, I was _beyond _pissed.

I was hard, and I'm sure Eddie wouldn't be up for fucking around. He was deathly serious, and for the umpteenth time, I feared my dick.

I felt as though I should give him some sort of congratulatory head pat, to keep his spirits up and to just thank him for keeping up with me after all these years. So I did. And then I almost cried.

I felt _nothing. _

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Not the usual toe curling, ass clenching pleasure I usually felt when I touched my self to thought of Bella.

Then I really started to panic, because I touched him again… and _nothing fucking happened. _

I'm a man, so I'll tell you that a tear _may _have slipped out.

I basically sprinted to my office, so I could experiment more with my unresponsive body. For some reason I thought that stripping off all of my clothes was the right idea. I dived onto the couch and just went at it. I pulled, and jerked, and rubbed, and circled and basically just jacked myself for all I was worth.

AND I FELT FUCKING SHIT ALL.

I was desperate to come, desperate to feel any small molecule of pleasure. But I may as well been getting fucked by Tanya and not thinking about Bella for all the results I was getting.

"FUCK!" I yelled in exasperation, grabbing my balls and rolling them around like I always fantasized Bella would do.

"You called?" A woman's voice sounded from in front of me. Jesus, please let it be Bella. Please let it be Bella.

**Bella's POV**

"Push up bra?"

"Check, but do I-"

"Cheeky boy short panties?"

"Yes, check, but I'd rather-"

"Glasses?"

"Do I really need-"

"I'll take that as a check. Ruler?"

"Check." I was being virtually molested. I was being forced into this, this was not consensual. Please, someone tell the authorities. I am a child in need!

They were getting me to seduce Mr. Cullen. Not in his private office, like I was sure would be the obvious choice. No, they were making me seduce him in public, broad daylight none the less. They were getting me to seduce him… in the library.

After Jasper and Emmett had done the daunting task of rifling through their porn stash, they had come across a lovely film by the name of "_Book Up My Ass: Redux_" That depicted a librarian in garb that was similar to the uniforms us young and impressionable girls had to wear. So _that's _why guys get erections around me. Those damn fools.

I was too corner him in the poetry section, which he frequented religiously every Wednesday. Five days from now. I was being _forced _to ask him about this dirty poem, and then I was supposed to like, bend over, showing him my underwear. Typical illegal teacher seduction.

"Now, what will you do when you see him in class?" Rosalie asked, being the annoying, cynical, controlling bitch I had grown to love. But I actually hate her, for reals.

"You mean on Monday? Two 'I'm-getting-drunk-out-of-my-mind' days from now? I don't fucking know! Ask me on Sunday night, after the mid afternoon sesh has came to a close." I was beyond exasperated, I still had a problem that had not been taken care of, and I was irritable.

I still didn't truly believe that Mr. Cullen had the hots for me. It just wasn't very plausible. He could fucking call up Heidi Klum, and her and Seal would come running to him just so they could have oral sex. I'm not kidding.

David Bowie thinks about Mr. Cullen while he fucks Iman. Another fact.

Michael Jackson looked at Mr. Cullen's baby album to get off. Lisa Marie looked on and pretended she was okay with it.

Who did I have pining after me? Fuckhead Newton and his other cronies.

Fuck that shit.

But even if there was a miniscule chance that Mr. Cullen could ever want me in any other way than purely plutonic, than I had to take it.

"I can't deal with you right now! Do us a favor, and go have another visit with your computer chair, at least then you'll be reasonable enough to talk to!" I now love Rosalie once again.

"FINALLY! I'll see you guy's tomorrow, and you all are gems. I would say 'call me' but I'm tired of talking to you all! Peace!" Jesus, they are the best. They put aside their own needs for mine, you gotta love that. They are all getting dildos for Christmas, expensive vibrating ones.

I ran across the campus, my hat and bag flapping wildly in the wind. People were staring, but I could care less. Mr. Cullen may want to have sex with me. I'm going to have an orgasm in a limited amount of time, and I no longer have to have human contact for at least twelve hours.

Life was grand.

Or so I thought, until I got home.

**SONG: Straighten the Curtain- Woodhands**

**Thanks for reading y'all. **


	6. Psychics and Failed Masturbation

**Mr. Cullen's POV**

"_FUCK!" I yelled in exasperation, grabbing my balls and rolling them around like I always fantasized Bella would do._

"_You called?" A woman's voice sounded from in front of me. Jesus, please let it be Bella. Please let it be Bella._

It wasn't Bella.

Jesus. H. Tap Dancing. Christ.

"Oh… hey Tanya!" My enthusiasm left a lot to be desired. She was at my office door, twirling her kife hair around her fingers. Fuck, would I ever catch a break?

"Eddie Weddie, a little eager are we?" She moaned, clomping her way towards me in typical Tanya cave man like fashion. Her fucking shiny, pink, pleather, environmentally unfriendly dress stuck to all the _wrong _curves and I felt some slight relief as my erection deflated slightly.

"Yeah…" I chuckled half heartedly, pulling at my hair. She was inching closer and closer and I knew this was going to be another bath room incident. God hated me. Suddenly she was kneeling in front of me, between my legs and I decided that I needed a game plan to get out of this shit.

"I ALREADY CAME!" I screamed like a little girl, scrambling and flinching away from the maniacal pink bitch in front of me.

"There's nothing wrong with coming twice, now is there Eddie?" She said, grabbing my poor dick in her sweaty palm. I almost started crying again, because there was no involuntary meager pleasure that I usually got when Tanya touched me. Again, there was fucking nothing. What I did notice, was that I hardened further. This was a seriously messed up game my body was playing on me, so I decided to reprocate.

"Tanya, lie down." I said, using my best sultry, commanding tone. She complied immediately, smacking my chin with her foot. She chose to ignore that blunder.

When she saw my head starting to lower to her cunt, her eyes widened until they were practically popping out of her skull. I had never gone down on the girl, I had boundaries. But, because I am a sick weirdo, I was going to torture all of my senses until my body relented and gave me the pleasure that I needed and deserved.

Sense #1: Taste

I ate the bitch out. Gross.

Sense #2: Sight

I watched the bitch come.

Sense #3: Sound

I listened to the bitch's moans.

Sense #4: Smell

I fucking smelled the bitch's hair, bad mistake. Ammonia is not a friend of my nostril cavity.

Sense #5: Feeling

I fucked her.

And I examined every detail about it. How warm she was, how wet she was, how tight she was. I was sorely disappointed with each outcome.

It didn't feel good. Even when I finally gave up trying to receive pleasure from Tanya alone, and started thinking about Bella, nothing happened. I was getting pretty frustrated because Tanya had come three times, once from my tongue, and twice from my dick… and I wasn't even fucking close.

So, I Edward Cullen, faked an orgasm.

I bucked, I moaned, I spasmed, I sighed. I was still rock hard, but when I quickly jumped off of Tanya and whipped on my boxers and pants, it was easily disguised.

"Do you want to come back to my place Eddie?" Tanya sighed, stretching out like some slut cat on my couch. Fuck that fucking shit.

"Um, fuck no." I growled in frustration, basically jamming my headphones in my ears and blasting some of The Cure, surely causing both inner and outer ear damage.

"Are you- _your white face left me blue, oh how can I say all the things I have to say to you?-_ I have handcuffs and- _the little time I spend with you, we drink each other dry_- beads, tingling lubricant- _It was only yesterday your eyes touched mine across the street_- and a butt plug THIS big!" Tanya yelled, spreading her hands wide apart. Her nasally un-aurally appealing voice was blasphemous next to the melodious sounds of Robert Smith.

"Tanya, I have shit to do. I'll talk to you later okay?" I said, probably too loudly for the saxophone beats of _Close To Me_ where fucking up my shit.

"Okay Eddie- _if only I was sure that your hand on door was a dream_- I'll ttyl!" Jesus lord.

She dressed surprisingly quickly for someone who was such a hovering bitch.

And then she was gone, and I was left to wallow in my own self pity. What was _wrong _with me?! Did I have fucking anejaculation? Would I _never _come again?

"MONDAY YOU CAN FALL APART, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY BREAK MY HEART, OH THURSDAY DOESN'T EVEN START ITS FRIDAY… I CAN'T COME!" I screamed, walking across the practically deserted campus. I realized that I was basically a woman's dream… I could make you come 3 times, and I could last for all eternity, my recovery rate was amazing… BECAUSE I COULDN'T COME. Screaming it for the thousandth time in my head finally brought it home and I realized how very depressing the whole situation actually was.

What 18 year old perpetually horny girl would ever want to be with a guy who couldn't come? I mean, I am now out of Bella Swan's league. I have _never _been out of _anyone's _league before!

Fucking Cher used to think about me when Val Kilmer fucked her with his small dick.

I made Anne Heche like men again.

I fucked Alexis Bledel in an airport bathroom on a delayed flight in L.A.

I'm too good for _everyone. No one _was good enough for me, except Bella, and I pretty much screwed that up because I was going to be perpetually hard for the rest of my life with no fucking release, and for some reason girls are none to pleased when you fuck them and then don't come.

I realized I was still screaming my revised version of _Friday I'm In Love _and sitting on that goddamned fucking fountain again. I then realized how pitiful and depressing my life was:

I had never had a girlfriend for more than 3 weeks.

Casual sex was no longer satisfying because all I could think about was burying myself balls-deep in Bella's tight ass.

Porn was blasphemous in my eyes.

I had no real friends, and I was a creepy pervert who wanted to have sex with his student.

While I was doing my moping and inner pathetic list-making, I saw Bella stroll towards her dorm room. Lord, the way she was bouncing and skipping along was enough to make me go even harder. I would never live.

Oh, Bella! How I love you!

And I think that I really did… I mean, what was love? I couldn't wait to see her, and I felt angry when she was around any other guy that wasn't me, and I thought about her when I masturbated, and I felt bad when I fucked other girls that weren't her, and I cared about her general well being… that's all the love I've ever known.

I love Bella Swan.

I love Bella Swan the 18 year old.

I love Bella Swan the 18 year old, student of mine.

I love Bella Swan.

It was just then that I thought that this could all be real. I could _love _Bella, for as long as we both lived. Because I just couldn't get her out of my mind, she was always there.

And then that was when I started to hate myself even more… I mean, I was almost _thirty. _She wasn't even out of high school yet, and I knew all this shit before, but actually grasping that I now love her was enough to make the information seem even more blasphemous.

I literally sound like a girl with all this 'grasping love' shit. Then I looked down and saw my poor, suffering, struggling dick and figured I must be a guy. I saw the light in Bella's room go on and my dick jumped again.

This was going to be a long night.

**Bella POV**

I busted through my heavy oak door, slamming it shut and whipping my bag at the wall. A small dent and some small dustings of dry wall was the only result, so all in all the wall got off lucky.

I slammed myself into my bed and whipped off my clothes at a velocity that wasn't beneficial for any of the materials involved. My stupid unnecessary lace panties were stuck to my skin and I peeled them off enthusiastically, never again would I wear something that would cover even an ounce of my skin from Mr. Cullen. Besides the necessary school appointed uniform of course.

I decided that to touch my clit immediately would make the whole session go awry, so I lightly traced my other feminine parts.

Strange, usually that just made me more frustrated, like I was just teasing myself. But there wasn't really any feeling to the whole thing. I figured that I just was _so _horny that only finger- to-clit stimulation would suffice.

So I did it.

THE FUCK?!

Um, where was the orgasm? I had pretty much psyched myself into thinking that the second I touched my clit that I would explode in a whimpering mess and come for like ten minutes, minimum. But I kind of felt nothing.

I felt nothing. Like a cheep hooker who was only doing this to get back at her emotionally distant father. Like a cheep hooker who was being half heartedly boned in the back seat of a station wagon by an old guy with a beard longer than the hair on his head.

The only thing I could think to do at that moment? Call a psychic.

_5 minutes later…_

"So like, all my friends are all 'he likes you! He wants to have sex with you!'"-insert proper nasal tones here- "And I'm all sure thing tips, but I kind of believed them, because they were making sense and all that shiz. So now I'm here, and I'm trying to touch myself- not now of course, that would be creepy- and I can't feel anything, but I'm still like dripping and nothings happening and this has never happened before and I'm scared." I cried into the phone, stunning the poor immigrant psychic for the fifth time this phone call.

"Okay, um, Winona was it? Let me get this straight… you're in love with your teacher-"

"Sex god!" I quickly corrected her.

"Yes, well you're in love with your um, sex god… of a teacher, and you think about him while you pleasure yourself, and now you know that he likes you back and so you can't orgasm… is that everything?" She sounded skeptical, and a little embarrassed. I wondered slightly whether she was in hearing distance of other people.

"Yes, and usually just _thinking _about him gets me to the o-train, but I've tried everything! I've gone through the whole fucking schedule! Nothing's working, and I'm supposed to seduce him on Wednesday, and if I'm like busting out of my skin then I won't be able to do it because I'll just like start licking him and stuff, and there's people around and it would just be like… not good!" I wailed, a few tears slipping out and falling on my naked thighs. It was then that I realized I was naked and talking on the phone to a woman about my sex life. God, I am fucked up.

"Okay, honey first take a few calming breaths, I can't get a correct reading when your upset." Even she sounded unsure of her psychic abilities. I did as she asked and laid down, my hair hiding my face from the heavy fluorescent lights.

"Now, I'm getting a reading about… wood..?" Her voice tilted at the end, indicating a clear question, yet she was amazingly spot on.

"Yeah! That's what my friend Jasper said my teacher was sporting when my other friend Emmett carried me out of the room! He had an erection!" I almost jumped up and started dancing because the psychic had guessed one word that was relevant to my case.

"Alright, now were getting somewhere. Now, I see something about… life? And water and pain…" It was then that I catapulted myself towards the window and almost started crying at what I saw.

"OMFG! He's sitting on the fountain outside! On the life side, just like you guessed, oh lord! And he _does _look pained, you're amazing!" I started jumping up and down and realized that my lights were on and my curtain was open. I hit the fucking deck like my life depended on it.

"Oh no, I think he _may _have just seen me…"

"We're you jumping around? Because now I'm seeing a lot of… strain… and something about being… Bellasexual… no that doesn't make sense…" I squealed, clamping my hand over my mouth as not to give away my carefully crafted fake name.

"Okay, so Bella… I see this whole seduction plan in the library going down without a hitch… the only advice I can give you is to not wear underwear… and the beret would benefit you greatly."

"Uhhghggkkkl…" is the noise that my clever brain came up with.

"That's what I thought. You're bill for my time will be on you're phone bill. I thank you for calling _Pleasurable Psychics, _have an amazing day." And then the line went dead.

I will never fucking doubt anything again.

**I'm SO sorry that took so long, I had the worst case of writer's block ever, and I cannot thank you guys enough for how supportive you all have been, you guys are amazing :)**

**Song: Good Girls Go Bad- Cobra Starship  
**


	7. Depression and MORE Failed Masturbation

**Bella POV**

To say that I got drunk that weekend would have been a understatement of the most epic proportions.

I drank (cranberry juice and vodka) and smoked (tainted weed that Jasper got from some guy in a beard) more in those two days than I ever had in my natural, innocent life.

I got so wasted that I forgot about the fact that I couldn't have a daily orgasm.

I got so high that I temporarily stopped missing Mr. Edward Cullen.

I got so drunk AND high that I forgot that in three short days I would be 'seducing' Mr. Cullen for lack of a better word, in a very public venue where there was room for ridicule, rejection, and possibly a felony of some sort.

On Monday morning I was so ridiculously hung over that I popped half a bottle of Tums to prevent myself from throwing up.

I probably shouldn't have blamed that on the hang over. I was so unbelievably nervous about seeing Mr. Cullen after realizing that he wanted me in some way involved with his dick, that I couldn't even imagine last period going over well.

The entire day passed in something like a blur, with appearances from my idiot friends punctuating the monotony. None of them had any idea about my orgasm-less existence, but I sure as hell hinted at it.

Who the femoral artery doesn't know what your talking about when you say, "My taco ran out of sour cream :("

That is just flaming common knowledge.

So I just kind of sat around all day, not talking or eating.

As I was walking to the dreaded last period, Mike Newton blabbing in my ear about hockey or something, I received a text from one Alice Cullen.

It read: _Don't sulk. No one wants to fuck a sloth._

Peachy- keen, mother fucker.

Almost immediately after, I received one from Emmett.

_Flirt with Newton, whenever Rosie even looks at another guy, I want to fuck her so bad it's not even funny._

Now THAT I could use. I snapped my phone shut in an annoyingly loud manner and immediately grabbed on to Newton's bicep. It was gangly and fleshy and altogether unappealing. But it would do the job.

"Oh, Michael! When did you get so… jacked?!" I was trying to come up with a stereotypical slut adjective, give me a break.

"Um… I've been working out after school, you know how I do," He said throwing me an overly suggestive smirk and eyed me up and down.

"It's paying off!" I said giggling girlishly. My unapologetic whoreness was abruptly cut off by the sound of heavy books being slammed against a table. I looked to the front of the room and saw Mr. Cullen positively _glaring _at Mikey.

Emmett McCarty was the next Gandhi. Such wisdom only comes every so often.

And what did I do? Instead of meekly sitting down and getting wet (I did get wet, which made me even more frustrated because I couldn't come and I hadn't gone without an orgasm this long since the Berlin wall fell down), I just giggled some more and ended off with an eye fuckingly obviously fake ho-moan.

I had never seen eyes bug out that hard.

I'm pretty sure that Mr. Cullen had grinded off at least 10-20 mm off of his molars from clenching his jaw like that.

I had never been more happier in my life.

I was Ms. Bella Swan, 18 year old student. And Mr. Cullen, my fuckhot English teacher wanted to fuck me, HARD.

**Mr. Cullen POV**

A longer weekend was never lived by all of man kind.

I didn't sleep the entire time, instead choosing to smoke and drink away my entire rent money for that month.

And don't think that I went to some bar, and got hit on and was manly and got into fights and played pool.

No, no.

I stayed at home in my tub and drank like 3 bottles of Hennessy over a two day period.

And I was SO horny that I couldn't even stand it. I didn't even try to jerk off because I knew that I would only end up disappointed. I spent the weekend learning how to best hide an erection in a robe for optimum coverage.

Apparently my body did not believe in the term 'whiskey dick'.

When Monday morning approached I almost considered not going in to school, but I was so close to killing my self or cutting off my dick with a rusty knife that I decided it best to go and distract myself.

Also, if you want to know the truth I _desperately _needed to see Bella.

I was SUCH pussy. Ugh.

I was turning into such a shit teacher too. You would think that I had no formal training at all, or like had never read a book at the rate I was teaching these days. I had little 14 year old shits for all of the day (for some reason there was a fucking surplus this year), so I played _Shakespeare In Love _every single period. By the fourth time… I was crying with the preteen girls.

Good Jesus, I hope that nobody noticed.

But I also had a boner the whole time, so that brings my masculinity level back to par.

At lunch I borrowed in my office and turned off all of the lights, I even went so far as to put an elastic on my door handle, something I hadn't done since college to get some fucking privacy.

By the time last period rolled around, I was a mother functioning mess.

I was hopping that when I saw Bella my mood was going to have this huge turn around, and that would have worked.

Except…

SHE WAS FUCKING GROPING NEWTON'S BICEP AND GIGGLING LIKE A PROSTITUTE.

I slammed everything I was carrying on my desk, sending a pencil cup spiraling towards Eric Yorkie with purpose, it dinged him in the eyebrow and I couldn't even find it in myself to laugh. Bella quickly looked at me and giggled some more and then _moaned. _

I knew immediately that it was fake. It was like a sixth sense that I had.

I glared at Newton some more until I was sure my eyes were bloodshot, just because the idiot had been touched by Bella Swan.

I would have given up orgasms for my whole life if she would just touch me. Unfortunately, my orgasms were not as um… valuable or consistent as they once were.

"We're watching 300." I said in a monotone, my jaw still not unlocked from my rage. All the guys whooped like I was showing them porn. Which I was, I was showing them bloodshed porn.

Almost every single girl whipped out their phones and started texting in a flurry.

Just as I was bending down to put the movie in, I heard several things all at once: An easily recognizable shutter sound, a giggle, a growl, and then a full on slapping noise.

I turned around quickly to see Bella smiling so bright I didn't think to question the idea that the sun shone out of her ass. Behind her, Jessica (something of a younger version of Tanya), was gripping the side of her face, covering what looked like a recent hand print.

My Bella was jealous. She was jealous enough to slap some girl because she had creepily took a picture of my ass. Newton was staring at her and panting and I wanted to go rip his dick off and then shove it down his throat.

But I also wanted to go and suck every inch of skin on Bella. She was driving me crazy and I could NOT deal with it anymore.

"Is there a problem Ms. Stanely?" I asked after several seconds of quiet observation. Bella whipped around and looked at Jessica square in the eye, waiting for an answer as well.

"Um, no. I'm fine." Jessica whispered so quietly I almost started laughing. I looked at Bella again who looked so unbelievably smug that I almost ran over to her and carried her to my office all cave man style.

"Okay, everyone shut up and watch the movie." I said unceremoniously as I flicked off the lights and sunk into my chair. I pretended to be grading papers when in reality I was just staring at Bella and the way the light from the television was highlighting the curve of her breast and illuminating her hair.

And then the change in the atmosphere went from intense and full of adolescent appreciation of killing, to tense and awkward in a matter of seconds. I looked at the screen and figured out why.

Sex scene.

Nothing makes a room full of teenagers more awkward and socially inept than a sex scene.

I looked around the room but all I could focus on was Bella. She was looking at the screen breathing heavily, obviously enjoying the slow motion love making of Gerard.B. But who wouldn't? And then I got the wind knocked out of me when she caught me staring.

For some unknown reason I didn't look away and neither did she. We just fucking stared at each other. I was starting to get MASSIVELY turned on, my semi erection going back to full mass as my eyelids drooped and my mouth fell open slightly as I started breathing heavier.

She was doing the same thing, her eyes dark and mischievous, and her cheeks flushed enticingly. She started touching her collarbone as she watched me, and I unconsciously started palming my dick through my pants.

I still couldn't feel anything, but it made me feel like I was doing something to relieve the ridiculous pressure that was residing in my groin. She saw the slight movement of my arm and her eyes fluttered closed.

I saw her right hand blindly reach down to her thigh and start rubbing.

I was gone, my head slammed down on the desk and I groaned as quietly as I could.

"Everybody leave. I'm sick. So leave." My own voice surprised me, seeing as I hadn't given myself permission to speak. There were murmurs of excitement as everyone grabbed their stuff and hauled ass out of the room. Once it was completely quiet (save for the sound of killing in the background) I thought it safe to look up.

And she was just sitting there all innocent looking at me with no expression on her face. I groaned and put my head down again because she was just _so _unintentionally sexy and my dick was so hard that I couldn't even see straight.

"You need to go home Bella." I said quietly hopping that she heard me.

"Okay." I heard her whisper more closely than I was expecting. I didn't even dare look up. I felt a light pressure on my hair (much like small feminine fingers brushing it aside) and then I heard her open the door and then leave.

As soon as I heard the door shut was when I hurtled into a spiraling inner depression of the deepest sexual nature.

Just try like watching 438275389 hours of porn, and then TRY not to have an orgasm. That is when you will be experiencing what I am going through.

Truly, and explicitly… FML.

**SORROW FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE.**

**I LEGIT HAVE NO EXCUSE, JUST LAZINESS  
**

**FORGIVENESS?:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(  
**

**I WILL HAVE A NEW CHAPTER NEXT WEEKEND I PROMISE!!!!!**


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